I am long overdue for a blog post. (Unless blog posts mature at the same rate as fetuses. In that case, I’m early.) So I dug this out of my writing folder. I hope you enjoy it.

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I posted on Facebook that, after a long walk, I couldn’t take the heat anymore, so I stripped down to my skivvies and took a swim. The first few comments were from gal pals—about how lovely that sounded, and such—and then a guy commented.

“You be careful, now!” he said.

I had to ask myself, is my likelihood of wildlife encounter sizably increased by the act of swimming? I think not. Does he have any reason to assume I can’t swim? No. I had a sinking suspicion I knew what he meant…

I replied that I knew how to swim and tried to leave it at that, but it bothered me all evening: Be careful of what?

Let me ask you something, no-doubt-well-meaning-commenter-who-shall-remain-unnamed, if a guy friend of yours posted the same thing (that he was hot on his walk so he stripped to his boxers and dove into the lake; and let’s assume that you have no alligators or flesh eating bacteria or whatever in your water supply), is your first response going to be, “Be careful”?

Now, I could be wrong; I’m not a guy, but I’m thinking if that was your response, guy-friend would be like, “Dude, seriously? What are you, my wet nurse? Afraid I’m gonna drown?”

I don’t think Dude was worried about me drowning, though. I think he was worried that if I took my jeans off I might slip and fall on a rapist.

I have three things to say to that:

1. As a human being, I have a basic inalienable right to feel safe.

This does not change when I take my clothes off. So when you hear that I’ve enjoyed the way the cool water touches my (bathing suit-clad, underwear-clad, or skyclad) body, appropriate responses include variations on “Yay! Or, “How wonderful that there’s somewhere where a woman can feel safe to walk and swim alone.”

“Be careful” is NOT an appropriate response because…

2. I don’t have a penis. Ergo, worrying about penises is not my job.

You seem to be suggesting that, if I’m out for a walk and I’m hot and there’s a lake, and I want to go for a swim, I should stop myself by thinking, “Well, no, I can’t, because I don’t want to be raped.” EXCUSE ME? You have that backward. Try this instead: A guy is out for a walk and he sees a woman swimming in her underwear in a lake and has in impulse to involve her with his penis. HE IS SUPPOSED TO STOP HIMSELF BY THINKING, “WELL, NO, I CAN’T, BECAUSE I DO NOT HAVE HER CONSENT!”

Simple, right? Everyone responsible for their own genitalia. I think so.

So next time you feel compelled to suggest that I moderate my behavior/dress based on the idea that I can control (and am therefore responsible for) a rapist’s behavior, don’t.  Just don’t.

And by the way…

3. Statistically, if I don’t want to slip and fall on a rapist, you know when I should be careful?

When I’m alone in a room with a man I trust. That would be you, mister. YOU be careful.