- 1/4 cup vegan margarine
- 8 ounces vegan chocolate chips
- 2 tbsp rice flour
- 1/2 cup agave syrup
- 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
- 2 tbsp soy milk
Category Archives: Self & Life
I said I went skinny-dipping. He said, “Be careful.” #EverydaySexism
I am long overdue for a blog post. (Unless blog posts mature at the same rate as fetuses. In that case, I’m early.) So I dug this out of my writing folder. I hope you enjoy it.
—
I posted on Facebook that, after a long walk, I couldn’t take the heat anymore, so I stripped down to my skivvies and took a swim. The first few comments were from gal pals—about how lovely that sounded, and such—and then a guy commented.
“You be careful, now!” he said.
I had to ask myself, is my likelihood of wildlife encounter sizably increased by the act of swimming? I think not. Does he have any reason to assume I can’t swim? No. I had a sinking suspicion I knew what he meant…
I replied that I knew how to swim and tried to leave it at that, but it bothered me all evening: Be careful of what?
Let me ask you something, no-doubt-well-meaning-commenter-who-shall-remain-unnamed, if a guy friend of yours posted the same thing (that he was hot on his walk so he stripped to his boxers and dove into the lake; and let’s assume that you have no alligators or flesh eating bacteria or whatever in your water supply), is your first response going to be, “Be careful”?
Now, I could be wrong; I’m not a guy, but I’m thinking if that was your response, guy-friend would be like, “Dude, seriously? What are you, my wet nurse? Afraid I’m gonna drown?”
I don’t think Dude was worried about me drowning, though. I think he was worried that if I took my jeans off I might slip and fall on a rapist.
I have three things to say to that:
1. As a human being, I have a basic inalienable right to feel safe.
This does not change when I take my clothes off. So when you hear that I’ve enjoyed the way the cool water touches my (bathing suit-clad, underwear-clad, or skyclad) body, appropriate responses include variations on “Yay! Or, “How wonderful that there’s somewhere where a woman can feel safe to walk and swim alone.”
“Be careful” is NOT an appropriate response because…
2. I don’t have a penis. Ergo, worrying about penises is not my job.
You seem to be suggesting that, if I’m out for a walk and I’m hot and there’s a lake, and I want to go for a swim, I should stop myself by thinking, “Well, no, I can’t, because I don’t want to be raped.” EXCUSE ME? You have that backward. Try this instead: A guy is out for a walk and he sees a woman swimming in her underwear in a lake and has in impulse to involve her with his penis. HE IS SUPPOSED TO STOP HIMSELF BY THINKING, “WELL, NO, I CAN’T, BECAUSE I DO NOT HAVE HER CONSENT!”
Simple, right? Everyone responsible for their own genitalia. I think so.
So next time you feel compelled to suggest that I moderate my behavior/dress based on the idea that I can control (and am therefore responsible for) a rapist’s behavior, don’t. Just don’t.
And by the way…
3. Statistically, if I don’t want to slip and fall on a rapist, you know when I should be careful?
When I’m alone in a room with a man I trust. That would be you, mister. YOU be careful.
Unconventional Fondue Feast (photo journal + recipes)
The “Self & Life” section of my blog has been sadly neglected. So begins my attempt to remedy that. (I do have a life outside of writing, really.)
Today’s share: a photo/recipe journal of my at-home dairy-free, egg-free and gluten-free fondue feast (that’s a lot of “free”s). Fondue has always been one of my favorite foods (food types? food groups?). Since I stopped eating dairy and gluten, I’ve felt fondu-deprived.
No More! My brother gave me a fondue pot for Christmas, and presto! excellent motivation to get creative.
The feast, as it happened–
Ingredients were laid out…
Course 1: Vegan, GF cheese + bread
I discovered Daiya vegan cheese at Pala pizzeria in NYC–they also have gluten-free pizza, go check them out, but I digress. I was ecstatic to realize my local health food store carries their products. This stuff melts and shreds and tastes quite a lot like “the real thing.” (And, no, I am not affiliated with Daiya in any way, and this is not an ad.)
Layla-approved? Yes!
Likelihood of enjoyment by people who eat everything? Not very high. Stick with the conventional version.
For the cheese fondue, I combined this recipe from the Daiya site for “Cheesey Fondue” with this one for conventional cheese fondue from Simply Recipes.
Like so:
1. Split a clove of garlic and rub all over the inside of a small saucepan.
2. Bring 1/2 cup white wine to a boil, lowered heat.
3. Mix in 1 package, or a bit more, of Daiya mozzarella-style shreds, and cook on low-heat until melted.
4. While cooking, stir in 1 tbs of rice flour. Add: Braggs liquid aminos, lemon juice, onion powder, and garlic powder (to taste).
5. Transfer to double boiler insert of fondue pot.
6. Eat! Dip cubes of bread (I used Gluten-free, vegan rolls from the supermarket), cool for a few seconds, and enjoy.
Course 2: Free-range Bison + veggies in olive oil
Bison is my favorite meat. Feel free to substitute yours (my mom had beef). I used this recipe from Lidner Bison (to find it, scroll down on their site). It’s really simple: meat + enough olive oil to just cover it. Note: don’t use the double-boiler insert for this one. When it came to the sauce, I didn’t have all the ingredients, so I did this:
Tangy dipping sauce:
1/2 cup vegan mayo
1 tbs catsup
1 clove garlic, minced
It was delicious.
Layla-approved? Heck, yeah!
Vegan/vegetarian? Use veggies, and tofu or tempe (maybe spice up your oil a bit)
Course 3: Vegan Chocolate!
Doesn’t that look good? I adapted this recipe from About.com.
Ingredients:
Prep: Melt chips, butter, and milk in a double boiler. Once melted, add other ingredients. Transfer to double-boiler insert of fondue pot. Enjoy with fruit.
Layla-approved? Total win. This tasted exactly like the one I used to get at my favorite fondue restaurant!
In Which I Plod (and see a lake. Ooo, pretty.)
My writing goal for May 9-15 was “just keep working.” This I did and it was sort of a plod-along week. I even plodded up a hill to visit this lake.
Pretty, huh? My last week’s writing summary isn’t nearly as enthralling, but here it is.
Monday: 2 hrs organizing draft & notes, editing
Tuesday: 2:20 hrs editing Book 2, part 1 (I want these events to work before I move on)
Wednesday: 3 hrs editing & agent research
Thursday: 2:30 hrs editing + 0:30 agent research = 3 hrs.
Friday: 2:15 hrs book 2
Saturday: 0:45 hrs
= 13:20 hrs
Since I did not quite put in my 15 hour minimum, that will be my goal for this week.
Goal May 16-22, 2011: Keep working, for at least 15 hours
None of that is particularly exciting (except maybe the lake), so how about a few more tidbits from last week?
Tidbit 1: A quote I read and loved
”The creative life…is the love of something, having so much love for something–whether a person, a word, an image, an idea, the land, or humanity–that all that can be done with the overflow is to create. It is not a matter of wanting to, not a singular act of will; one solely must.” – Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run With the Wolves
Tidbit 2: My current read is
The Iron Thorn by Caitlin Kittredge
Recommended? Highly.
Tidbit 3: As mentioned above, I took a hike to Grassi Lakes. My hiking companion was…
Isn’t he cute? (You know, of course, that there is only one correct answer to this question.)
See you next Monday!













